Attitude adjustment

I've taken the plunge and ordered my own fire staff. I still need to manufacture a practice staff that won't fall apart (first effort did just that). I don't want to drop my real staff a ton of times like I'm going to do as I teach myself new tricks.

Flow and velocity. These are my goals.

In other news, I've come to a changepoint. You know how you can plateau in life, in attitude? You find a comfort zone, and just sort of coast there. Expenses and income are more or less balanced (if not, they feel like they ought to). Friends are cool, family is... family. But you're not making any upward progress, spiritually or emotionally. And without that sense of progress, there's no chance of becoming better than you are.

I'm rambling. Okay, what I'm saying is that I've decided that I've suffered enough. I've paid my dues. I've forced myself to give up music, give up being pretty/attractive and almost give up writing, for nigh on ten (or twenty-nine, depending how you're counting) years. It's been ten years since I gave up on finding love. It's been twenty-nine years since I started punishing myself for a crime perpetrated against myself. Couldn't punish anybody else, so it had to be me.

Well, I'm done. Sentence served. Not a parole - a release.

This morning, I went to a yoga class, because I wanted to, gorramit. Tonight, I'm going to practice my music and go to Burn Club. In between, I'm going to work on my novel. Because I want to, and the mental thumbscrews are getting ritually burned.

*whew*

I'll work on the finding love thing next week. *LOL*